places.

I think of places, different places. And I don't even mean the everlasting wanderlust, although I do have those little cosy nordic towns in my head and precious Mokum in my blood, I still don't mean that.

I think of... places. Of my schools, actually. Three of them.

With a gratitude but no nostalgia - of the first one, my primary school.
With a shiver - and, still, cold gratitude - about the second one, that gymnasium where I just did not fit in (thanks Heaven that I didn't) and from where flet desperatly. Funny enough, most of my ex-schoolmates that I keep in touch with are from there.

And the last one, where I graduated from. Lyceum. I must say, I don't miss school. Not for a second, and I won't miss, you must be sure.
Weird. Lyceum was not bad. I was not particularly pressed there - well, but it was mostly about studying and so on. Nothing more. It was a great change after the Gymnasium. I can't say I adored that place but I was quite tolerant and loyal towards it. Didn't much crtitise, didn't want to change the school, but after all it left me so... indifferent. It was an important step, something that I needed. I could breath free, could stop being suspicious, could stop feeling myself a black sheep.

It probably gave me something then? Yes.

I must thank T.N., thank V.S.m thank... don't know. Maybe all of the deserve being thanked.  

I looked through the recent picture of the lyceum's current pupils and I was a little bit taken aback - I mean, this place is already dead for me, non-existing, and they still go there, they study, gossip about the teachers, traunt the lessons, whine about the short holidays and traunt the saturdays.

Not me anymore, thanks God. I don't miss school, even having such a huge tendency for being nostalgic, I. DON'T. MISS. IT.

I don't know why I was taken aback. I get some Lyceum news from time to time, what's wrong then?

I shouldn't have said this.

Golden  years? The-best-darn-time-of-you-life-you-will-miss-these-years? Ha! Ha! But it's my problem - or not a problem?  I see so much people missing their schools but I am SO FREAKING HAPPY that I don't have to go to school anymore.

Even though I study harder then ever. And have less time than ever. And feel tired all the time and horrified by the amount of work. The only pressure is the rating system - and whatever, it pushes me forward. Well, I push myself forward!

The only person form the Lyceum I really communicate with is my literature teacher.
And whatever.



Somehow it's more personal that I expected it to be.